The gazillionth posting about Michael Jackson's death you won't read

So Michael Jackson is dead.  And I'm the gazillionth person to post about it.

At first I was weirdly ambivalent about it.  Don’t get me wrong, when I was twelve or so I was your typical Michael Jackson insane pre-teen (we didn’t do ‘tween’ back then), I followed him even though my tastes changed through middle school, and I still respected him in high school.  Then I didn’t really think about him for several years until he started to become a slow, slippery, scary ride into weirdness.  I’m not even talking about the legal allegations at this point.  I’m talking about the “I’m naturally turning white”, “I would never have plastic surgery”, “I have a pet chimp that is my personal assistant”, “I’ve opened my own place where boys never grow up” (OK he didn’t say that but he did name it Neverland).  Then there were rumors, and talk so he married Lisa Marie for a second.  Then he married some random and they ‘conceived’ two children.  Then they got divorced and he had a surrogate to have a third child.  All weird enough except the first two kids are Prince Michael I (apparently named that before any more were in the offing) and Paris Michael.  Then the surrogate kid named Prince Michael II, better known as Blanket, because we all know why.

I guess I mourned the passing of the Michael Jackson I knew a long, long time ago.

And then the rumors, and the lawsuits, and the shutting down Neverland and the creepy and the outright insane.  He being creepy dancing on the SUV, showing up in jammies, the new weird baby talk voice.  The insane were the fans.  I’m looking at you ‘Dove Charges Woman’, I bet you show up on every 24 hour news station in the next three days.  The man turned into someone that should be shielded and handled in front of the public in the last two decades, yet people still acted like two of the guests at my 12^th birthday sleepover. 

Unfortunately that night coincided with his hair catching on fire and two of my guests locked themselves in the upstairs bathroom in such histrionics that my parents were certain we’d have to call the fire department (now how awesome would that irony be?), but they were finally coaxed out and we all settled in for a pleasant viewing of Psycho (which is why several of my guests were never allowed to sleep over again). 

Anyhow, I guess I’ve gone from my initial ambivalence to outright crankiness.  I think in the days to come I’ll feel much more about this, and think more fondly about my memories, just right now I’m thinking of a lot of other people that are going to be impacted by this that didn’t sign on for it, and because of the person he became I can’t get to het up about it on his behalf.  That is an enormous hospital, there are thousands of people trying to do their jobs, have surgery, be treated, visit loved ones.  Those people’s lives until around 5 PM (EDT) today were the center of their own worries.  Now just to get in or out, grieve, worry, work have been completely overshadowed.  I do not deny anyone’s need to grieve about Michael Jackson, I do deny your obstructing someone else’s life to do so.  I pray the police got there in time to move the crowds so that everyone else could function as needed.

And honestly, what exactly are you doing there?  You are not the descamisados standing outside the Casa Rosada for Eva Peron.  You are impeding a medical facility.  Whether you are genuinely grieving or just trying to get on camera, MOVE!  People are dying, working, having surgery, bearing children.  Take it to a park or somewhere else.  I hear Neverland is vacant. 

I wish him no ill, I hope he rests in peace, but it’s the people like “Dove Woman” that are camped outside the hospital right now that I just want to collectively slap.  I want to preemptively tell the news media to tone it down, because there is no way this won’t be ten times more insane than Anna Nicole.  Which on some level it genuinely should be because Michael Jackson was legitimately talented and she was exploitation fodder.  But once the new facts run dry, they’re going into the crazy well, and I don’t want to go there with them, and I can’t stomach the “I’ve never had plastic surgery” photos which were just disturbing anyway without the pedophilia (don’t email me that he was acquitted, it was all gross).  The press is going to treat this like Princess Diana and that is just sick and disturbing.

I do not refute that he was a brilliant entertainer; he was The King of Pop.  He may have been a brilliant businessman, but I seriously believe that part of the downfall was that he wasn’t.  I think he was an incredibly talented kid that got started when he was six in a local talent show.  He and his brothers became a hit and like so many ‘Behind the Music’ episodes we’ve seen before he got plucked from the herd because he was hell talented and easy to manage.  He became the biggest music superstar in the pop world, he worked really hard to maintain that, and then the pop culture scene left him behind and he couldn’t deal with it.  He was surrounded my yes-men and sycophants and a pile of money.  So in his own very special and heinous way he went mad. 

I’ve had this discussion about other famous people with many other people, depending on the person or the circumstance.  Most recently it was about Phil Specter, for the last twenty years it could be about O.J.  More recently it could be about any politician from the city council to the senate.  It takes a certain kind of person to become insanely powerful, wealthy and idolized.  Those are very often the same traits that are found in psychopaths, serial killers, and dictators.  Narcissism, insecurity, constant need for attention, inability to accept change, believing you’re beyond laws, norms, and mores.  There is a split but I don’t know where it happens.  I think people like Michael Jackson, especially since he started so young, just think it’s the norm, then they believe their own press, especially when you call them king.  Seems like that self destructive king issue happened to several other people; actual real ones, and then the ones American pop culture crowned. 

There should be a study, maybe there is, why do certain famous people like Ghandi, Einstein, Mandela, King, Mother Theresa just to name a few not succumb to this.  I have some theories, and some realities.  I noticed in my list that a couple of the men are known for let’s say… ‘unpopular’ behavior inconsistent with their messages, and most were known for eccentricities.  Many beloved figures act horribly.  We often compare modern celebs and politicians to those of the past.  But it’s not people that have changed, it’s technology that has changed, and it’s technology that has changed the human appetite for raising up heroes and tearing them down.

But I just really believe at some point Michael Jackson broke with reality, completely.

I honestly believe he didn’t think he did anything wrong with those children.  I also believe maybe at least one family did try to exploit him.  Maybe he really did believe that he didn’t disfigure himself to the point of wearing a fake nose and going into exile.  Maybe he really thought he was the lion king, thus he raised his child from a balcony with a blanket over his head to share with the masses.  I don’t know.

I know I’ll feel sad, but right now I just kind of feel relieved, especially since this happened before I tour I don’t think he could have done and if he tried would have done him harm.  I think I liked him better these last few years when I thought he was just kind of hiding out and I could think he was getting ahold of himself. 

I hope he doesn’t over shadow Farah Fawcett’s passing too much, or even Ed McMahon, they all deserve at least a little bit of our reflection on how they influenced our lives and our culture.  Your ratio of reflection may vary.  I’m very saddened by the loss of what was once a great talent.  I’m affected and trying to deal with the feelings of the loss of a man that was an obsession for me in my formative years.  I don’t know that we’ll never see anything like he was in the 60s to the 80s again.  I hope we won’t see any other celebrities become like he was from the 90s until now again.  I don’t hope very hard. 

Rest In Peace Michael.  You deserve it.  I can’t imagine you ever experienced it while you were alive.